Well, so it's been about a month or so since my last post. Lots of things happened within this short timespan.
I've moved house - to a slightly smaller flat, and did a few modifications to our house. It was pretty good, I guess. New environment and all - definitely a good place I'd look forward to returning, after a busy day at work ahead. Not too shabby - my sister even has her own room now.
Thing is, even after shifting house, it's all the admin work after the physical shifting that's very troublesome. You need to change your IC address, billing address, and sometimes even NUS correspondence address. It's a whole lot of problems I'd rather not have.
And this is it. I've gotten myself a temporary full-time job, and I have lots of mixed feelings over the stuff I do day in, day out. However, it would seem that I'd be better off with a part-time job instead. I hate having to sit in the office all day long, even when I have a whole lot of stuff to complete.
And red tape. Yes, the dreaded red tape. I hate having to report every single thing to my superiors, even though I understand the need to do it to keep yourself accountable.
Best thing that happened all June was the NUS Engin Camp. Never regretted a single moment of it - I've made a few friends before I even start studying. It's really supposed to be just fun and socialising.
...okay, so I've gotta be honest here. I've never been a person who's good at socialising, never liked crowds, always second-guessing myself, never being able to whole-heartedly put my effort into something that I really want. When I finally decide to go all out, I always end up being in a bigger mess than if I never put in any effort at all.
I hate this kind of life. I want to change. And the things that I tried out in Engin Camp showed me that I don't have to be stuck in my past, and that I am the only one limiting myself. I proved myself wrong when I swam into deep water and held my own. I did a lot of stuff I never did before. I actually held a girl's hands for the first time. Yeah, my previous relationship was a joke - I could never get to muster enough courage to hold her hand in mine, and it lasted for a month. Big joke - I wooed for 3-4 years, and it lasted 1 month.
Yeah, you could just call me evergreen then, if this qualifies.
And besides that and all, I never dared try taking the lead, because since primary school, I got little to no support at all, and as a student I was always grouped with the class outcasts who normally had problems with cooperating or giving ideas at group project assignments. Well, not since Project Work at JC, in which I was lucky enough to get the "dream team" to work with and everyone got an A-grade, which actually counted when it contributed to an extra 10 A-level ranking points that determined whether you could get into a local university or not.
I wanted to change that, but let's just say I didn't get to do that all at once. It's a start, though. I did a little breakdancing on the Finale Night, did a handstand while blindfolded, piggybacked girls, grabbed a ice cone by the cream instead of the cone, among other stuff as well.
"It's all about breaking barriers," I used to hear one of my teachers back in college say. Well, I suppose army really threw me back into a shell with all the bad experiences, and now I'm gonna break outta that shell again. To hell with the past, I'm gonna make a difference now.
